Gaps
by zorro x
Summary: Sirius and Remus, and the gap between- set before Peter's betrayel. About how suspicion festers.


Disclaimer: Harry's someone else's. I own nothing. Nada. Zip. Zulch.   
  
A/N: This is just an idea that was playing around in my head, for a while- I was considering making it part of a larger series, but decided to just post it alone, for now- I want to do a whole series of small vignettes and stories about those last few weeks, eventually, and this is just a start. Read Dig a Little Deeper' for some Peter POV.   
  
**Gaps**  
  
  
Sirius glanced over at the armchair, where Peter was sleeping. His familiar snores were gentle and somehow soothing, like the last link to childhood. They weren't teenagers any longer, but the soft reminder of their linked past brought a wave of nostalgia. He looked away, trying to mentally block the sound from his mind.   
  
Remus looked up at him, catching his eye for a split second before looking away, focusing his eyes once more on the baby in his arms. James had asked the three of them to watch Harry while he Lily met with Dumbledore- the three of them, because there was no telling which was the traitor. Which of the marauders would gladly sell James's son for nothing more than a brand that burned and a pat on the head. They had all been approached, of course, but there was no knowing who it was that had accepted. That had betrayed.   
  
Remus's gentle fingers smoothed the fuzzy baby hair gently on little Harry's head. The baby was just barely a year old, and already his black hair was promising to be as untamable as his fathers had been. The green eyes, so like Lily's, were shut tightly in sleep. As Sirius watched, Remus leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on the baby's forehead. Sirius shuddered.   
  
He was James's best friend first- that was a given. But Remus had always been the one he leaned on, his support. The one he turned to for comfort, who in turn looked to him. He had always loved Remus, his wolf, his Moony- but now...   
  
Now, they barely ever saw each other, and when they did there was an insurmountable tension between the two. Nobody trusted anybody anymore, and Sirius trusted Remus least of all. His clever, brave, wolf- with a weakness all to easy to manipulate, and a cleverness that was unavoidable. He had been the grounding factor in the Marauders, but he had hated himself, or a part of himself, and Sirius could all too easily see him twisting that hatred into something all encompassing, that ignored love and friendship and brotherhood.   
  
Remus's voice was soft, awkward, the word sounding foreign on his lips, as if he was speaking a new language that he wasn't sure of yet.   
  
What, Rem? Sirius asked, the words too loud in the stillness of night. Peter's snores paused for a second, before resuming with a vengeance.   
  
The werewolf paused, as if about to confess something. Sirius held his breath, wondering if this was it, if his friend did have a spark of compassion left in him. Never mind, He said after a second. It's not important.  
  
Sirius said, hating the gentle and loving name on his lips, as he watched the traitor cradle his godson. If there's anything you want to tell me- Anything, my wolf. I promise I'll listen.   
  
No, no. It's nothing. Not important. The gray eyes didn't meet his blue ones, instead seeking the window. The moon was nearing fullness, Sirius noted with surprise. It had been months since they had run together, the four of them, playing in the light of the moon. Sirius realized with a pang of horror that Moony had had to make the transformation on his own, had had to tear himself open again and again, without anyone at all there to soothe him.   
  
I miss you. He regretted the words as soon as he said them, wincing away from his own quiet confession. He hadn't meant to say that, to let the sentiment fall from his lips and into the quiet air, against the background music of Peter's light snores.   
  
Remus began, before stopping with a sigh. I miss you, too, He finally confessed. I always thought we'd be brothers forever, the four of us. Tighter than blood. He looked helplessly at Sirius, face etched in a mask of confusion and despair. It's not right.   
  
He agreed. It wasn't, none of it was. And whether or not his friend was the traitor or not was immaterial at the moment, because they were brothers, and they were both scared and confused and felt far too young to be fighting this war. I'll run with you on Monday, He offered suddenly, impulsively. Come on, it'll be great. Marauders together again, Padfoot and Moony-  
  
Remus's harsh denial cut him off short, and his mouth snapped closed with a click. Softening his tone, Remus continued. No, that's all right. I'll be fine on my own. He didn't meet Sirius's eyes.   
  
And in an instant, the tension returned. The barrier between them was back, and firmer than ever. And Sirius felt a sudden, mounting need to do something, say something, to _get his godson away from that traitor!_ To make Moony leave, to never have to look at that too old face that marked the betrayal of his brother, his friend, his wolf. It was choking, overwhelming, overpowering-   
  
I'll be right back, He managed to squeeze out, before dashing towards the bathroom. He splashed icy water on his face, the shock snapping him out of his daze somewhat. He bent over the sink, clutching the edge of the counter as if the world was about to tip him off, to tilt and let him slide into oblivion. He spent a moment staring unseeing at his reflection, before remembering that he'd left the Death Eater alone with a sleeping Peter and his infant godson.   
  
Remus didn't look up when he entered the room, and there were no further attempts at conversations. James and Lily would be home within the hour, and until then they'd sit amidst the backdrop of snores, watching the moon.   
  
Peter slept on, and the gap grew wider. 


End file.
